Not everyone will understand your why!  People often have opinions about what we should do.  While it may come from a sincere place, you will only be successful if you are pursuing your identified goals.

In our society, we live highly curated lives. We know what our neighbors have had for breakfast, what they wore to an event, and what they went on vacation.

However, what we don’t know is:

• The difficulty that they had in making those decisions
• Who encouraged them along the way, and
• How long it took them to achieve what they have accomplished.

This is our reminder to keep our eyes on our paper and encourage ourselves along the way. If we fall into the trap of comparison, we will struggle because we will lose sight of who we are and what we believe, we don’t know the whole story.  So how encourage yourself?  You have to start with the courage to be yourself. Living your truth and know that if you can back it up, it is never too much.

If we fall into the trap of comparison, we will struggle because we will lose sight of who we are and what we believe…

– Michelle Simmons

Having the courage to be yourself means that You have to start from within. If you struggle with your self-worth, you will never be able to establish real goals. Without goals, you won’t know where you are going.  You won’t know how you are doing.  Before you set your next goal, you will have to heal the scars that you have today and do the work that it takes to clarify your values and beliefs.

Rethink your truths, and then let them never be negotiable.  Make sure that your values and personal boundaries are clear and non-negotiable.  Roy Disney said, “decision making is easy when your values are clear”.  

Only you know what your best is, you control your attitude and effort.  Remember that at times good is enough!  Disappointment and failure are simply data….  Not a character trait or a definition of who you are.  

As you begin to establish your goals, you also have to understand that you have to plan for imperfection, again knowing who you are, will allow you to accept the reality that some things may change. Some decisions you make today may be different tomorrow, and that’s OK! Taking in new information and applying it to who you are and what you plan to achieve is fine. Other people may not understand it but as long as you do, it is perfectly OK.

Along this journey, remain curious. It is perfectly OK to see what other positive people are doing. However, it is not OK to compare yourself to someone else. We sometimes neglect the relationships that are important to us because we assume that we know what’s going on and how our friends and family are doing.  Still, reach out, ask questions, and share what is going on for you. Science tells us that we are better able to regulate our emotions when we support and allow others to support us.  After all, emotion regulation is more effective when other people actively help us with it. Use your family and your friends for feedback.  

How to encourage yourself?  I’m glad you asked!  

• Have the courage to be yourself 
• Clarify your values and beliefs (you will be able to easily address imposter syndrome).
• Keep your eyes on your paper 
• Accept that at times good is enough 
• Remain curious 

Success indeed is whatever you determine it to be, revise your definition as many times as you need to!